Getting Ahead
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Published March 7, 2010 When, if ever, is it wise to go straight to human resources with a complaint about a co-worker?Only when the behavior might lead to injury or a lawsuit. “If you truly feel a threat to life or limb, go straight to HR,” says Orlando, Fla.-based psychotherapist Linnda Durré, author of “Surviving the Toxic Workplace” (McGraw-Hill, 2010). Ditto if you believe you are being sexually harassed by a scary aggressor. In most other cases, involving HR should be the last resort. Take your complaint to the offender first, be it loud chewing, inappropriate jokes, backstabbing or trash talking. Try what Durré calls the “sandwich technique,” enfolding criticism, however gentle, between thick slices of praise and respect. Start out with positive comments, move on to constructive criticism and then end with possible solutions and more praise. Always say “and” – not “but” – when you transition from positive to negative. Example: “Bob, I respect the fact you’re so dedicated that you eat at your desk. And I’ve noticed you always order a tuna melt. The smell lingers, and I find it distracting. Could you please eat in the cafeteria? Perhaps you can take some work with you. I know you like to stay ahead, and that’s admirable.” - Written By Dawn Klingensmith |